


Down the Rabbit Hole

by blingyeol



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Bittersweet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2018-02-09 13:02:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1984002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blingyeol/pseuds/blingyeol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Which includes two ghosts roaming freely between the Underworld and the world of the living and a group of five humans which attract these two stalkers although they do not know about them, mostly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> major character death = turning into a ghost / being reincarnated though, so the warning doesn't really apply I think :D

 

_"Ghosts seem harder to please than we are; it is as though they haunted for haunting’s sake -- much as we relive, brood, and smoulder over our pasts."_

When he woke up there was blinding light everywhere, shimmering and shifting colours from yellow to green. Soon he realized it's just a play of his own vision and opening the tightly shut eyes replaced the light with complete, impenetrable dark.

“If it isn't our weakling finally waking up,“ resounded somewhere close to him.

He looked around, trying to glimpse something in the pitch-dark world. There was absolutely nothing to see, but he quickly realized he can _feel_ the things around him. They were however somewhat incomplete, shapeless and colourless.

“Where am I?“ he formed a sentence, letting it slide through his mind rather then escape his lips. Come to think of it he wasn't actually sure if he _had_ any lips.

“Underworld. Realm of the dead. You can call it however you want.“

It might have been a _dream_ , but the word dream felt so vague he couldn't really tell. So did the past happenings, all of them felt hazy and empty. With every second he felt more and more blank, as if someone was sweeping the floor where all the memories were scattered.

“They call me Sneezy. And don't you laugh at that nickname or I'll guarantee you're gonna hate yours.“

“I have a nickname?“ He felt puzzled. Remembering stuff seemed harder with every sweep of that imaginary broomstick.

Sneezy laughed. “Of course you don't, you just came here. That's why I'm going to give you one, silly.“

“I came here... from where?“

“I said we're in the Underworld. That means, obviously, you came from the world above. You really are a dumb one, aren't you? I figured out things way faster.“

He glared at his new teasy friend. “I'm not dumb, I just don't remember anything.“

“Yeah no one does. Except for some tiny trifles Anyway, you're called Dopey from now on. Like it?“

Dopey shrugged his shoulders, or at least he thought he did. Everything was so different down here. He wondered why was that so when he didn't even remember how things were up above to begin with.

 

The tiny trifles everyone manages to keep in their minds when they die grow like fertilized plants the moment you get into the world above. Dopey watched the little girl laboriously stand on her tiny feet, balancing and trying to take the first steps. It was sort of like learning to walk. When he first opened his eyes into the darkness down there, he couldn't remember anything and felt confused. But then he went up to the world his previous self probably knew better than anything and thousands of memories came back.

“I found out that if you watch children you start to remember way more things than if you watch adults.“ Sneezy was suddenly sitting next to him, legs stretched out and arms supporting his body.

He was skinnier and more handsome than Dopey expected him to be. He was quite sure someone as nosy and mischievous can't be this perfect. It was only in _the other world_ , as the dead called it, where you could see the ghosts wandering around in their original forms.

“Why don't we remember ourselves though?“ Dopey wondered.

Sneezy bent his lips downwards. “I don't know. They want to keep us from what we knew as living people. Otherwise they wouldn't keep the Book of Names out of limits.“

That fully caught Dopey's attention and he averted eyes from the cute baby. “Book of Names?“

Yet again, Sneezy started explaining. “When you die and fall down there, the first thing they do is tick you off in that book. It covers all the living people and the dead, I've heard it's infinitely huge and locked up somewhere safe.“

“Say how about we break into that somewhere safe and check our names there? I want to know who I am.“

“You don't need to tell me twice,“ Sneezy smiled slyly, eyes narrowing.

As much as strolling through the world felt exciting, watching unknown people and walking through unfamiliar places brought him no joy. No matter how many memories filled him up, he still felt empty.

“By the way,“ the sly boy let his eyes slide from Dopey's head to toes, “you're quite my type with that tall figure of yours.“

Before Dopey could oppose the sudden attempt at flirting, Sneezy disappeared. He sighed, muttering something to himself and then reluctantly followed him. If he remembered it correctly, all he had to do was close his eyes and let his body loosen. In a split of a second, Dopey was falling through tunnels and tubes, blurry objects passing him in a speed of light, making him feel dizzy. He had to admit that going up was incomparably better then this.

 

 _Lee Sungyeol_. He weighed the name, tasting it and wondering how it sounded when someone close to him called it out.

“Dopey, hey Dopey! I found myself too,“ shouted the excited Sneezy with hands restlessly smoothing out a crumpled page. "Nam Woohyun, Seoul, South Korea.“

Sungyeol stopped the ruminations and looked back at the page with his own record. "Hey we're from the same place!“

They weren't left much time to rejoice other than bright smiles that could be only felt deep inside their beings. The rashly closed door suddenly opened, without any warnings such as rustle or voices somewhere close, yet far enough to give them time to think. Underworld didn't work as the world above after all; you couldn't really _hear_ things here and they were too absorbed into the search to _feel_ anything suspicious.

That day Sungyeol and Woohyun found out that even down here something like police exists. And it wasn't the type of justice that would let you know all your rights and give you a chance to call a lawyer.

“Eighty percent,“ was their sentence. “And you can be lucky you're not sent right away.“

Frightened and paralyzed, Sungyeol didn't dare to ask what this verdict meant. Judging by the horrified feeling Woohyun was giving out it wasn't good and that made him even more scared to actually ask. It wasn't supposed to end up like this. They had a perfect plan, a plan that took them months to create.

Woohyun was the first one to break the silence they were suddenly left with. “It must have been Flopsy, that jerk. He definitely sold us out.“

“Why would he do that? He wanted to know his name too.“

“Where do you think will some of those eighty percent from each of us go?“

Sungyeol attempted to make a frowned expression, not too sure if he succeeded or not. Judging by Woohyun's sigh he obviously did.

“Eighty percent of happiness, that's what the verdict meant. Happy thoughts are what lifts us if we want to go there,“ Woohyun pointed towards the imaginary sky. “If you lose your happiness, you can't go up, it's as simple as that.“

“Oh so it just means we won't be able to go up for a while? That's not such a bad outcome.“ He felt relieved. Sungyeol would never take back what they did, he was happy he'll have a place to go and a real name to be called by. However price is what matters with every risky plan and for a moment he feared it will outbalance the gains.

“The more time you spend down here, the sooner you'll die." Woohyun sadly smiled. "Yeah, ghosts die too.“

Sometimes he wished Woohyun was a newcomer like him, not really knowing much about the dark world other than what he's been told by the officials. But he's probably been here ages before Sungyeol came or at least sufficiently long to know stuff.

“You really know how to ruin one's mood don't you.“ Spitting that Sungyeol dejectedly walked away.

 

Getting back the lost happiness wasn't as hard as he thought. Weeks and months spent in the world of the living filled in the blank spaces. He learnt the basics of human lives, not memorizing them but rather reviving them in his emptied mind. That allowed his vision to get a lot better in the Underworld. Sungyeol didn't fully understand the connection between these two worlds and how it affected their abilities. Surprisingly enough Woohyun only shrugged his shoulders when asked.

Desperation that hit him hard the day they were sentenced to temporary imprisonment in the Underworld slowly drifted away. His urge to stay hidden in a dark corner away from others also worn off and Sungyeol decided to stroll through the ghost land.

Because of the desire to go up more then stay in the gloomy world down here, he realized how little he knows about the Underworld. Except for all the information they gathered to find and break into the safe place guarding the Book of Names he knew basically nothing.

As he walked, a flamingo flew over his head, startling him to the point he tripped over his own feet, even though he probably didn't have any. A ghost standing next to Sungyeol shot him a haughty glare as he grabbed the flamingo's legs and soared high with the bird carrying him.

“Is this like a common way of transportation?“ Startled boy asked into the air, becoming a center of attention and fleeting smiles.

He laughed with them and then bravely caught hold of another pair of those long straight legs that flashed slightly above his head.

Despite the fact there wasn't supposed to be any air in the Underworld, Sungyeol would swear he felt it ruffle his hair, his whole _being_.

“Woohyun-ah! Look at me, I'm flying! Woah!“ They were too high for him to just jump down and he realized he has no idea if ghosts can die in accidents like these and no intention to find out. “How do you get off this thing?“ he shouted down.

Woohyun grinned, amusedly watching Sungyeol and his flamenco flew over him and further away. “Grab its wing, that way he'll know you wanna get down!“

Finally safely on the ground, Sungyeol breathed out deeply. “Woah that was something! How come I didn't know about this before, I'd use it everyday.“

“There are better things,“ Woohyun pointed out. “Like fluffy bunnies serving you coffee. Or those evaporator things that-“

“There's coffee in the Underworld?!“

Woohyun could swear Sungyeol's eyes became sparkly and the smile plastered on his face was somewhat creepy.

 

The cars passing by and crowds of people crossing the streets were a bit boring compared to flying flamingos and bunnies serving the most delicious coffee Sungyeol has ever tasted. Nevertheless when he breathed in the damp summer air, a wave of eagerness ran through his body.

“Home,“ one of them would say, spreading arms to take in the large crowd passing right through their invisible entities.

The city of Seoul looked like one huge factory, streets humming, people everywhere. Judging from the stalls on the sides of each street, this seemed to be a shopping district. It looked like a tiny maze made of shops, stalls and crowds. Street sellers were luring customers loudly screaming into microphones, the place full of smell of various street food.

Sungyeol drooled over honey pancakes being served into paper cups. “Just why can't we eat any of these? It's so cruel to let us smell all this when we can't take any.“

The torture didn't stop for another while, until they finally found their way out of the shopping maze. Across a lively main street they aimlessly walked through places that might have been their home.

“Do you feel anything?“ Woohyun suddenly asked, half curious, half frustrated. They were standing on top of a short bridge, looking down onto the perfectly clean stream.

“Cheonggye Stream,“ Sungyeol vaguely answered.

“You remembered?“

“No, it's written there,“ the tall boy waved his hand somewhere in front of them. “I just wondered if we can read it because we're Korean or because it works like language, which becomes universal when you're a ghost and you simply understand everything.“

“Oh.“

Woohyun hoped for more. Memories, feelings, familiar places and faces. But it was just another city, quite different from the ones he'd seen so far but nothing else. Woohyun felt his heart drop and his feet lost its ground. Knowing way too well what's going to follow, he refused to give in.

“What are you-“ Sungyeol tried to protest against his arm being forcefully pressed but was soon silenced by Woohyun's lips tightly enclosing his own. If he had any references to compare, it felt different. Ghosts could touch each other, but their bodies weren't warm. To Sungyeol the kiss felt almost like licking a tasteless ice-cream.

He didn't resist though, letting Woohyun's fingers smoothly run through his fuzzy hair and tongue intruding into his mouth. Sungyeol traced his soft cheeks before letting go, their breath brushing over the skin.

“It worked,“ Woohyun pleasedly remarked, observing his feet firmly glued onto the stone pavement. “Hey kissing you actually makes me happy, we should do it more often.“

Sungyeol burst into a series of incoherent babbling. “You – just because – you just do as you please, you – idiot.“ Side-eyeing the shorter boy's sweet lying smiles, he added: “And you're welcome.“


	2. Chapter 2

On this particularly gloomy day filled with occasional rain showers Sungyeol the ghost stalker selected a very pretty girl. Her straight dark hair shined with raindrops that stopped falling from the skies a few seconds ago. She was also incredibly tall, topping any other Korean girl around.

Yet the beauty turned out to be quite boring. Waiting for someone who took long enough to displease her, then leaving with her boyfriend obediently following wherever she went. They bought a few pieces of jewellery, drank coffee and then said goodbyes to each other.

When she waited for the bus to take her home, Sungyeol fell deep into thoughts again. _What if she's someone I knew_ , he wondered. Maybe she used to be his girlfriend but when he died she just moved on. Or maybe she was his classmate, co-worker, childhood friend. Or what about this old man getting off a cab? It might have even been his father, he couldn't tell the resemblance anyway. If there was something missing in the motley Underworld, it was mirrors.

“I'm glad we're ghosts,“ a familiar voice remarked. Woohyun appeared from behind the phone booth, startling him a bit.

Sungyeol thought he should ask _why_ but he also had a feeling he doesn't want to hear the answer.

“Because you know, if I saw you getting all soaked in this rain I'd definitely fall for you.“

“I knew you'd say something like that,“ the taller boy gave a sigh and ruffled Woohyun's hair. “Go and find a soaked human instead.“

Walking away, Sungyeol could hear Woohyun shouting “But I love _you_!“ and most likely grinning while throwing his hands shaped into hearts at him.

There was nothing as distracting as another ghost when you had to concentrate on your search. There would always be some transparent figures wandering around, but none were as distracting as Woohyun could be. Sungyeol wanted to _feel_ something. To find people close to him, to just know it's them. Because there was a complete absence of such a feeling he decided to choose a person every now and then and follow them.

This one had to be a bull's-eye hit though. Rain was heavily falling down again and this poor boy obviously forgot his umbrella. Clutching a stock of papers and holding them over his head barely protected any of his already wet hair tips, falling lower over the eyes. There Sungyeol had to admit Woohyun's image of someone being soaked in rain could be alluring.

“Jjong-ah!“ A large black umbrella came rushing towards the boy, giving him a shelter. “There, that's better.“

Sungyeol was jealous of the umbrella man. The way he smiled at the boy, the way that strangely charming face gave the man a long look and chuckled. Sungyeol found himself walking right in between them, eyes fixed onto the drenched boy.

“How come you're always nearby, Myungsoo-hyung? I'd almost think I have a stalker,“ _Jjong-ah_ said, eyes piercing Sungyeol onto the ground as they were looking at Myungsoo through the invisible ghost.

“Now you definitely have one though,“ Sungyeol muttered, not taking into account Myungsoo's presence. Not that he wouldn't have the right to do so with no one really taking into account his.

 

The fact that you could enter a concert without paying for the tickets or even bothering about being somewhere really far from the stage was definitely one of the advantages of being a ghost. The crowd of fans screamed in unison when five boys entered the stage, Sungyeol and Woohyun giving it their best to keep up with them.

“Key- _oppa_!“ Woohyun shouted out jokingly, imitating the ecstatic jumping and hands waving.

“Which one's Key?“ the taller boy asked bluntly, merrily jumping down nevertheless.

Woohyun threw an offended look for effect before he proceeded to lecture his ignorant friend. “The blonde one. My bias to be honest. Next to him there's Onew, the leader. Then Minho, Jonghyun, Taemin. Why do you cheer like crazy when you don't even know them?“

Sungyeol pouted his lips. “I do know them. I was just testing if _you_ are a real fan. Haha, got you!“

They laughed out, uncovered teeth reflecting the stage lights. Catchy chorus of the song dragged them in, making them sing and sway to the rhythm. Like this it felt as if they won't ever go back to the Underworld at all. How much happiness can music bring, Sungyeol would never believe.

“Do you think we might have been idols too?“ Key's fanboy asked as they shadowed the five singers on their way to backstage. “Judging by your looks I'd kinda bet on it.“

Glancing at the performers all sweating and quickly changing their clothes, Sungyeol disagreed. “I would be too lazy to work hard like this. Unless,“ something in the swarm of people assisting the singers made him shift the sentence he was about to make, “there was this boy around.“

Among predominantly female workers helping the idols change and dry their sweaty faces was a familiar figure in an attire almost as flashy as the one Woohyun's bias was wearing.

“Oh.“ After wordlessly commenting the pullover that had more holes then the fabric itself and something that had to be a half-skirt covering overly tight jeans, Woohyun summed up: “Interesting.“

“You don't say,“ Sungyeol responded in a slightly sarcastic tone. “A few days ago it was 'this scrawny girlish kid is your current target?'“

“I never said a scrawny girlish kid can't be interesting, did I?“ Omitting the part where he wanted to follow up explaining it's the fact Sungyeol _likes_ that boy which bothers him, Woohyun patted the taller one's back. “Now we'll at least see each other often.“

It's been about two or three days since they started exploring their hometown. Sungyeol sticked to _Jjong-ah_ and his umbrella man Myungsoo while Woohyun found a new hobby being a fan of a boy band called SHINee. _Jjong-ah_ turned out to be Lee Sungjong, a fashion design intern that was supposed to be where Sungyeol left him tonight, in his cozy seventh floor flat in Seongbuk district. Finding out he's actually working with the idols Woohyun stalks out brought a whole new scale of problems.

“Man but have you seen him getting undressed at home? I mean, isn't he in fact a girl?“

 _Yeah, that was one of them_ , Sungyeol thought as he smacked Woohyun's head lightly.

 

There were a lot of things discovered, lot of those still shrouded in mystery and a few that Sungyeol would rather not know of. The scene he was observing right now was the latter case. While following Sungjong all across Seoul, there were times he'd lose him in the overcrowded subway. Even if you're a ghost and can walk through people, they don't become transparent for you and still can hide things inconveniently. Like that he probably missed on any interactions between the fashion boy and Myungsoo, unable to grasp what their relationship really was about.

Sungyeol was torn between running away and staying. The way Myungsoo's hands possessively ran through Sungjong's thin waist and down the hips was hard to stop looking at. When the two linked up bodies entered the bedroom, the door got half-closed, leaving the ghost outside.

He could still hear things. Irregular breaths, soft moanings, Sungjong's high-pitched voice whispering Myungsoo's name. A pair of hands busy with undressing the other boy could be seen through the half-opened door. Fortunately for Sungyeol the bed was situated on the left side of the room, opposite of the door.

Before he managed to decide whether to stay, leave or even enter the room, another stalker ghost flew through the door. He hated the way Woohyun showed up, without any warnings and most definitely intending to startle him to death.

“Pretty sexy view I'd say, you really don't wanna take a look from inside?“ he teased, pulling Sungyeol's arm a bit. "And that Sungjong most definitely isn't a girl, after all."

The taller boy obstinately resisted. “I was about to leave actually.“

“Yeah, I can see that.“

Sungyeol tilted his head to see where Woohyun's staring and groaned out. His feet were already sinking into the ground, mercilessly pulling him down into the Underworld. Without any second thoughts he decided to fight Woohyun's way.

Sharing the still so ice-cold kiss didn't do the trick for him. Deep inside, Sungyeol was left desperate and feeling jealous of the living boy that could touch Sungjong in such a way while he couldn't even talk to him. Suspecting that, Woohyun opted for a second round, letting their tongues clash violently.

Pulling away, the cold lips traced Sungyeol's neck, pecking and licking it here and there. “Let it get to you, Sungyeol.“

Understanding the importance of the sentence didn't mean it was easy to do. He'd lie if he said it didn't feel good. Woohyun's fingers exploring his body, circling around his nipples and sliding down made him moan in a quiet voice. It was just that the part of the scale filled with negative feelings was still heavier.

Woohyun lost him trying to grab Sungyeol's hand so tightly that it would pull him out of the ground that's been consuming him, but failing.

 

Turned out he was right about SHINee's schedule tonight. After he weaved his way through the Yeouido park and waited for the green light to cross the street, he could already hear the fans shouting excitedly. Just a few meters away was a tight crowd glued onto the rather narrow window. Woohyun effortlessly snaked in, passing through the window and right into the room where a radio was being broadcasted.

“Now that we have answered the fans' questions, let's listen to Kim Sungkyu's song,“ Key the DJ announced while the addressed guest got up to prepare, “60 seconds.“

The ghost seated himself in one of the empty chairs around the table and listened to the song being intruded on by muffled voice of the fans standing outside. The singer's voice was nice, emotional and stable and Woohyun bobbed his head to the rhythm.

At times he liked being a ghost, watching the lives of others without them knowing anything. Nevertheless he understood Sungyeol and his growing wish to interact with the people he chose. The wish to meet someone his dead self knew wasn't completely gone. Woohyun only started to realize that if he ever did, he would certainly not be able to feel happy about not being able to talk to them.

The red-headed Kim Sungkyu finished, putting the microphone and headphones down. He sat down right next to Woohyun, oblivious to him. The ghost poked his chubby cheeks, just for fun. Just for the sake of laughing out when his body started to feel the gravity. They called it the ghost gravity; you fall down through the realms straight into the Underworld when you feel sad.

However this time he succeeded in holding onto the remnants of happiness. He laughed at Key's jokes and enjoyed being amused by the fans squeezing onto the window. Listening to the conversation connected a few more links in the information he possessed, which always made him feel as if he's becoming part of the people's lives.

Late in the night the broadcast finished and Woohyun somehow ended up staring at the black car with Key leaving and waving him goodbye. Instead he joined a different person getting into a similar, yet smaller car. He had no idea where it would take him and that was the thrill Woohyun quite enjoyed. Knowing exactly where Key is heading to and how the place looks like made him more curious about where following Kim Sungkyu would bring him.

“Drive carefully,“ the idol would instruct the driver as soon as the car moved out of the parking lot.

Judging from the driver's expression it wasn't the first time he's heard that. “It's late at night, there's not enough cars to cause an accident anyway,“ he objected.

Sungkyu discontentedly grumbled. “Back then there weren't many cars either and it still happened.“

Had he known what incident the idol was hinting at, Woohyun would have trouble leaving him alone. However without any inkling about it, he left Sungkyu peacefully sleeping in his quite luxurious flat at Apgujeong.


	3. Chapter 3

The metaphorical phrase “to hit the bottom” happened to be literal in the ghost land. Sungyeol experienced the crazy travel into the Underworld again, with great displeasure as always. He stayed right on the spot his body fell onto, staring into the dark space. Every time they were forcefully dragged down, it stole all of their happiness and left them with just that empty burdensome feeling.

In a few minutes the important parts in his mind connected and Sungyeol remembered his half-filled jar. Forcing himself to get up and move was already a hard task to achieve, but holding the transparent container in his hands, deciding what to do with it turned out to be the hardest. The officials usually don't tell you about this option, which Sungyeol found outrageous. As a being filled with negative and positive feelings that influence your free movement between the two worlds, you were actually able to store a bit of those feelings. Storing the negative ones would be useless, obviously. And so he was staring at the seemingly transparent nothing in the jar, wondering if he should use the happiness he stored in it.

The sudden amount of time and a lack of will to do anything made Sungyeol think. He wondered why was it Lee Sungjong who caught his eye. All the previous targets lasted a day, sometimes even less, yet this boy stole all of his attention for the rest of his ghost life, most likely. Maybe he was the one he used to know, but such speculations were too frequent. These speculations however made him want to know more.

There were tons of scenarios he'd picture, such that would require his fast return into the world of the living. Right now, he's most likely missing on the continuing romantic interactions between Sungjong and Myungsoo and he could live with that.

Yet he opened the jar in the end, but didn't take all of the inside. Just a bit, enough to carry him back up but still leaving something in there, just in case.

Conveniently enough, Sungyeol missed on the whole bed scene and returned right in the moment Myungsoo pecked Sungjong's forehead and was about to leave.

“I'll call you in the morning,” Sungjong said, smiling faintly.

Opening the door, Myungsoo assured him: “I won't oversleep, I know it's a big day for you. Go to bed early, okay?” With that he kissed him again, stroked his cheek and grudgingly left.

Sungyeol liked these moments the most. Not Myungsoo kissing and touching his crush, but the moments he could be alone with the boy. But something was wrong this time.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Sungjong crawled onto the cream-coloured sofa in the living room, pulling legs close to his chest and burying his face into them. Soft sobs kept coming out, making his tiny body shake. This wasn't the Sungjong he knew. The boy Sungyeol observed for weeks was determined, persistently pursuing his dream to become a famous fashion designer. He was way stronger than he appeared and Sungyeol has never seen him crying.

That very strong boy who stayed awake through nights to finish a project and who smiled while talking with his family he hasn't seen for months was falling apart in front of him right now. Sungyeol sat besides him, holding his hands even though it meant only grabbing air.

“Don't cry, I'm here,” he'd utter, being on the verge of tears himself.

They were both pulled out of the stifling atmosphere by a piercing sound of phone ringing. Sungjong raised his head, eyes red from crying and face all wet and stared at the phone display giving away it was _Howon-hyung_ calling. Before picking up the call, he took a deep breath and rashly wiped off the tears by his hands.

“Yes?”

Repeating his habit, Sungyeol leaned over to hear the voice on the other side: “Sungjong-ah, I'd need you there a bit earlier tomorrow, is that okay? Bae Yeojin's manager just called me asking for this...”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. What time then?”

A short pause and then the factual tone of the caller changed into somewhat troubled one. “Are you okay?”

Sungjong bit his lips nervously. “I'm okay, _hyung_. Don't worry about me.”

“You should go to bed, tomorrow's a big day,” Howon repeated Myungsoo's words. “Everything's gonna be perfect since your amazing manager is taking care of it.”

A sad, yet genuine smile appeared on Sungjong's teary face. “ _Hyung_ is my amazing manager indeed.”

“Be there at 5 am, I'll be waiting for you in the backstage, okay? And,” Sungjong's manager paused again, probably speculating if he should continue, “don't cry. Sungyeol would be proud of you.”

Despite being told not to cry, tears dropped down onto his hands again when Sungjong put the phone aside. Above all he looked tired, not physically but mentally. As if that strong boy was not so strong after all, hiding all the shards of weakness deep inside of him and struggling with them on his own.

The fact that somehow, a part of that weakness is maybe Sungyeol himself took his breath away. So he was connected to Lee Sungjong after all. It wasn't just speculations, mere wishes, it was some kind of an intuition, instinct or maybe a hazy memory that survived.

 

Everyone was there for the big day. Sungjong and his manager were there among first, checking out the place and perfecting the details. Then Myungsoo came, setting up all the cameras personally, followed by a bunch of staff helping with the preparations. And finally Bae Yeojin, the renowned fashion designer, arrived.

In this swarm Woohyun couldn't really be absent. “As much as I'd wanted to laugh over fans waiting for pre-recordings of a music show, this is kinda interesting,” he'd comment, claiming his spot next to Sungyeol.

“He knew me, Woohyun. My name got mentioned in a phone call.”

“Who, Sungjong? Really?” Woohyun looked surprised for a while, until he added: “Ehey, do you know how many Sungyeols exist in Korea?”

The one Sungyeol present right here shot him an offended glare. “I chose him for a reason. It's gotta be me.” As much as confident it sounded, Woohyun made him doubt a bit.

Myungsoo walked right through the ghosts, making his way to the young fashion designer that looked nervous and lost amidst the clothing stands.

“What's this boyfriend doing here though?”

Sungyeol observed the two chatting, Myungsoo patting Sungjong's shoulder. “He's a photographer. Sometimes he does photos for Sungjong, but he mostly works for a certain studio where those idols of yours go to as well.”

This day meant a lot for Sungjong and all of the people around him knew. Even Sungyeol did, although not in such detail. One of the Korea's leading fashion designers liked the young boy's work and agreed to do a little collaboration with him. No more than ten pieces of outfits presented by two models, yet to Sungjong it felt like his life's work. One thing was for sure, his future life's work depended on this. If he gets recognized by a famous fashion designer, he can definitively move away from being just an intern and occasional idol stylist.

The promising boy was standing there, carefully observing his creations moving around with the models posing. Sungjong noticed a lot of flaws and things he should have done in another way, Sungyeol could tell by his slightly frowned expression and that fixed stare.

“Is that real fur?” Woohyun took interest in the outfits.

Sungyeol wouldn't know. The only outfit he'd be able to converse about was Sungjong's since that was the only person he watched for the past hour

Heading towards them, Howon announced: “It's your turn, Sungjong.” With an encouraging smile he guided him forward, his hand protectively placed on Sungjong's back.

Bae Yeojin and Lee Sungjong posed together at the set used by the models a few moments ago, smiling widely as their hands fit closely to each others' waist.

 

The photos scattered on the table garnered attention from all of those sitting around. Sungyeol has already thoroughly took a look at them the moment they appeared on the monitors in the studio, the moment Sungjong opened them up in his computer and also the moment they came printed out like this. The boy's world revolved around them right now after all and Sungyeol grew tired of it a tiny bit.

“I still think these are your best yet,” Howon expressed. “And yours too, Myungsoo.”

The designer sighed. “As much as I appreciate that, I'd need critiques to like them.”

“Why isn't Dongwoo here yet?”

As soon as Myungsoo asked, a brightly smiling pink-haired boy loudly shouted at them all the way from the restaurant's entrance. He literally ran to their place, merrily hugging Howon from back and almost suffocating him.

“I haven't seen you guys for ages,” Dongwoo said when he finally sat down and took a look at each of them. “You haven't changed one bit though.”

Apparently he stayed abroad because of his job and came back home only once in a while, all of those moments spending with family and friends. Sungyeol didn't know what kind of friends these four were, but watching them commenting on Sungjong's photos, laughing and remembering old times made him want to be a part of that.

Dongwoo was in the middle of pouring _soju_ into Myungsoo's cup when he suddenly remembered. “Oh and I've found something while packing things yesterday, I totally forgot I took the photo with me back then.”

It was a polaroid photo decorated with hand-drawn hearts, stars and short messages all over it. Sungyeol thought it's cute and expected them to cheerfully laugh over it but there was sudden silence, broken only by distant sounds of people chattering and glasses chinking.

“I thought you'd want to keep it,” breaking through the heavy air, Dongwoo explained.

The three of them exchanged looks, somewhat bitter and slightly confused. The only still staring at the photo was Sungjong. Seeing that, Myungsoo moved over to put his arm around Sungjong's shoulders, taking the photo away with the other hand. “I'll take it. You know I love collecting these.”

When everyone else refused to comment the situation, Sungyeol grew impatient. “I don't mean to be rude, but can you please voice out your thoughts? I can't read those y'know and you have me here all curious,” he whined.

After a while Sungjong smiled absently. “I imagined him there, modeling for me and Bae Yeojin. That beige cardigan and black jeans set would so suit Sungyeol.”

Glancing back at the photo Myungsoo was still holding, Sungyeol eliminated the four familiar faces and stopped at the one in the middle. The tall and slim boy dressed in striped sweater was smiling into the camera, arms tightly wrapped around Sungjong's and Howon's waists. Over one of the white-coloured stripes there was a mention he didn't notice before.

_I ♥ you, Sungjongie~ Sungyeol ^^_

He stared at the bright teeth-revealing smile, wondering if it looked the same right now. It was way weaker and with a tint of bitterness, but Sungyeol smiled at that tiny message, at the hand clenching Sungjong's waist and at Sungjong's own hand over his shoulders, gently touching his neck.

“You really loved him, didn't you?”

Dongwoo's question made him finally avert eyes from the photo. He noticed Myungsoo's hand squeezing the fabric on Sungjong's shoulder tighter, his expression becoming painfully troubled. His own heart beat fast, or more likely he just recalled how it felt to have your heartbeat speed up and butterflies in your stomach.

“I did.”

“It's okay, Sungjong-ah. You still have me – I mean – us,” Myungsoo stuttered, gathering courage. “And me, as your boyfriend.”

It looked like the only not surprised one around the table was Sungyeol. At least for the very few seconds until he noticed the rest raised eyebrows or left their mouths hanging open, which made him join the mass confusion. Sungjong was also among the ones fixing his eyes on Myungsoo, amazed.

“Wait, wait,” Howon started, unsure whom to look at first. “The two of you started going out? And didn't bother to tell any of your friends, I suppose?”

Dongwoo shrugged his shoulders upon the ending part directed at him. “How would I know, I was away since Sungyeol... well since that.”

“I didn't have a problem publicly coming out, you know that. But for Myungsoo it was important not to tell anyone, at least in the beginning...”

The ghost wasn't paying attention anymore. Sungyeol settled down inside the table, right in front of Sungjong and watched him speak, not hearing a single word that escaped those mesmerizing lips. And he felt like kissing them, deeply, rediscovering how they tasted when his living self did that.


	4. Chapter 4

“Not really,” said Woohyun.

Sungyeol gazed at him, pleading.

“No, no, definitely not,” he shook his head resolutely. “Looks like you'll need to find yourself a new target, this one's obviously wrong.”

“Woohyun.”

He looked at Sungyeol's martyred stare and then back at the photo, frowning a bit. “Maybe – just maybe – we change our appearances a bit when we die or simply-”

“Ugh, Woohyun,” Sungyeol grabbed his arm and jumped up and down. “Don't tease.”

Woohyun let out a sigh, switching between the ghost version of Lee Sungyeol and the one on the polaroid photo laying on the desk. “It's you,” he admitted bitterly. He considered himself a pretty good liar but when it came to Sungyeol he always somehow lost. Whether it was because of the boy himself or because you're simply not yourself around your crush, he did not know.

They were in Myungsoo's house, a pretty nice but somehow unfinished one in the tangle of streets around the World Cup Road, a fourty minutes ride by bus to Sungjong's place. The unfinished showed mostly in the lack of decorations in some parts, as if the owner would get moody every time he'd try to finish them. The others however were overly detailed, just like the desk corner. Photos were basically everywhere, hang onto a string above, under the glass on the desk.

“Thanks.” Despite not really admitting the possibility that the gummy smile on the photo wouldn't be his, Sungyeol needed to be sure. Now that he was sure, it didn't feel like anything changed. But it would change everything if Woohyun answered negatively.

 

If Sungyeol was obsessed before, now it was complete madness. At first Woohyun would feel annoyed and focus on his own targets. Then he would slowly start being amused, because there was just so much to laugh at in Sungyeol's way of falling in love.

Given the chance, he would most certainly laugh even now. Hands supporting his head, Sungyeol was busy hypnotizing the slender fingers typing on the keyboard and the words coming out on the screen. Sungjong was writing a diary. He hardly ever did that, maybe because of all the schedule and deadlines that stared at him from multi-coloured papers stuck all over the working place.

It didn't start with _dear diary_ nor did he write about things he ate for breakfast and how sunny today is. There were feelings seeping through.

 _I have been thinking again_ , it started and stopped, with Sungjong staring into the screen absently.

_What am I doing right now, where am I heading. I'm not doubting, I've never been. It's just that lately I'm looking back more often. I thought I've decided not to think about it anymore but it keeps coming back on its own._

These weren't things Sungyeol could understand, unless the feelings start to be more specific. Afraid that he'll see Sungjong cry again, he kept an eye on him, watched his face carefully and protectively.

_I know it's stupid to blame myself, but I still do. Why is it that we always realize the importance of things when we lose them? Sungjong paused, hands placed on the keyboard. I loved him. I should have realized it earlier and I should have told him more often._

In the end it was Sungyeol crying. The dry tears stung in the eyes, making him blink ceaselessly.

A cellphone started vibrating on the desk and Sungjong picked it up faster than he could read the caller's name. The moment he'd lean closer the call was already finished with him hearing only Sungjong's worried “Be there in a minute, don't go anywhere okay?”

Sungjong's wasn't himself, he could see that. Opening up his heart just now, it wasn't easy to toss away the thoughts and concentrate. Forgetting to turn off the lights, he left the apartment in a hurry. As he was passing through the streets, he would bump into people here and there, apologizing automatically.

Sungyeol saw it coming. The boy rushing through streets wasn't paying attention to anything around him, he seemed out of place and it was a wonder he still knew where he's heading to. He checked his cellphone and his fingers moved quickly to reply to a text message. The countdown reached zero and the green light turned into red, but he didn't notice.

“Wait, Sungjong-ah!”

People however can't hear ghosts. If they did, Sungjong would have stopped and turn around. But he walked onto the crossing, still busy typing. The first few cars didn't drive out, they only impatiently hooted, probably uttering some curses. In the second lane a truck joined the angry drivers and Sungjong finally looked up. When he became aware of the situation, the boy sped up to quickly finish crossing.

If only people could at least be pushed away by ghosts, Sungyeol wished. But they couldn't and Sungyeol, who was already at the other side of the crossing and saw the car coming from behind the truck very well, felt desperate. By the time they crashed, an absent-minded boy and a careless car, Sungyeol was already buried into the ground, struggling.

All the way down, falling and falling. Out of all possible moments, this was the most important one. Without any hesitation or actually leaving space for feeling depressed and lethargic, Sungyeol found his jar and opened it. The remaining happiness was weak and the way up went a lot slower; it felt as if he was climbing through substance as thick as honey.

Back up time didn't stop, meanwhile an ambulance arrived, traffic was stopped and Sungjong's lifeless body was moved into the car. It would be a lie to say he didn't think about him dying and therefore being able to talk to him, interact. Maybe in sixty years, as an old man but not now. At this moment all Sungyeol wanted was for him to live on. Without any trace of selfishness, he knew Sungjong has a lot to live for.

The ambulance car was fast and Sungyeol had a hard time catching up. As a ghost he couldn't quite just sit in there and let himself be carried, in order to stay inside of the car it took a lot of concentration, but at least it was possible.

Sungyeol was there all the time. When the door opened, when the patient was quickly carried through the hospital's back gate and when they stationed him at the intensive care unit. Despite being glad he's there, it was extremely nerve-wracking. Knowing just a little about medicine he wasn't sure if the situation is actually good or bad but he did understand the sharp monotone sound and the straight line on the monitor that appeared all of sudden.

Everything went fast. In a split second a transparent soul, much similar to the appearance of ghosts, but not quite yet the same, separated from Sungjong's body. Doctors and nurses present in the room took charge of resurrecting the already soulless patient. Sungyeol hold his breath, counting on the medical abilities of those people.

Then the soul looked his way, the blurry eyes meeting his. Gravity was taking its toll, the soon-to-become-ghost dropped down, but his eyes wouldn't avert. Desperately, Sungyeol took a step forward and attempted to grab the soul's arm. To his utter surprise, he succeeded. No air grabbing, he was holding Sungjong's arm tightly, refusing to let go.

The monotone sound changed back into regular beeping. The arm he was holding just a few seconds ago was gone, it slipped back into its shell.

“Okay, he's back,” he'd hear someone say.

 

Sungyeol soon learnt that there was nothing as tiring as sitting by the patient's bed. Even though ghosts don't need sleep, he was continuously falling into a sort of a coma. At such times he'd wander through the hospital to wake himself up.

Meeting Sungjong's first visitor in the hallway the very same evening was a shock. When the boy passed by, Sungyeol had to turn around. For a moment he would swear it was himself walking into the room, sitting by Sungjong's bed and that had him paralyzed. Looking closer, he found differences but there was no doubt that person was his relative, a brother maybe.

Sungjong was still asleep. The visitor sat there for a while, looking troubled and unsure. In the end he left after hastily scribbling note on a paper torn from a school notebook and putting it on the bedside table.

Internal bleeding and a fractured tibia, the doctors said but Sungyeol would rather hear them say _he's going to be all right soon_. Time was painfully slow and there wasn't even any Woohyun to while away the time by joking and bothering him whole night.

 

“Am I dead?”

“No,” Sungyeol replied, still a bit astonished by Sungjong's piercing gaze directed right at him. “Although you almost were.”

He was used to looks, eyes seeing through him yet giving the impression it's him they're looking at. If it was Sungjong it gave him that nice and warm feeling, but not this time. The longer the contact held on, the more scary it became.

“Sungyeol.”

Time stopped. Sungyeol was able to perceive the stifling silence in the room, a smell of carnations on the bedside table and the fresh autumn air coming through the slightly opened window. He understood those, there was nothing unusual nor inexplicable about them. What he didn't get was Sungjong talking to _him_.

“Ugh, I-” he stuttered. Talking when no one was listening was easy, but suddenly he needed to think about what to say. “You can see me?”

Sungjong nodded, eyes widened and pupils moving fast in confusion. His heart beat faster, the monitor gave it away. Shaking his head and rubbing eyes was perhaps meant to chase off Sungyeol, unfortunately he was no product of the boy's imagination.

The rising indicator probably called a nurse who came to check the situation and interrupted the awkward meeting of the ghost and the living.

“Can I- can I ask a question?” Sungjong addressed the nurse adding some substance into his drip feed. “Is it possible to have like,” a short glance at Sungyeol awkwardly standing there, “hallucinations or something?”

“You are most likely just tired because of the medications,” explained the nurse, calming him down a bit. “But you should see a specialist if the problem persists.”

The best Sungyeol could think of was to just disappear. Considering Sungjong's health it was the best solution for the time being, not to mention he needed time to think himself. One part of him wanted to stay, talk to him, assure him he's real, even though not exactly living. The other one was afraid and not very sure itself, about what's real and what's not.

 

Woohyun yawned. It was taking too long and he was already thinking about finding better entertainment. Fortunately Kim Sungkyu posed for the last time and they called it a day, everyone exchanging polite “you've worked hard” and wrapping it up.

“You came out well, _hyung_ ,” Myungsoo commented while scrolling through the photos they took today.

Sungkyu looked at them impartially. “Hm, they're fine. Do something with the colours though, it looks too dark.”

“Dark was the concept you know...”

“I don't like it, so do something about it, okay?” Sungkyu patted the photographer's shoulder. “Going for a lunch with the team, wanna join us?”

Myungsoo sighed. “Sorry, _hyung_. Friend's in a hospital and I promised to fetch a few things for him.”

“Okay, see you then.”

Deciding to stick to Myungsoo in a split second, Woohyun watched Sungkyu walk away. He shadowed the boy, following him to Sungshin Women's University Station and heading together towards a familiar way. Through the main street, taking the second turn left and they reached Sungjong's apartment.

Woohyun was faster, effortlessly flying up to the seventh floor. Lights on in the hallway took him by surprise, wondering how could someone be there if the hospitalized one is Sungjong.

“God you scared me, what are you doing here?”

Another ghost sat there in front of the computer, staring at the screen. Sungyeol didn't even twitch when he spoke, sitting there and looking like a heap of misery. Although appearing calm on the outside, inside was an ongoing fight.

“Is it true that Sungjong got hospitalized?” Woohyun waved his hand in front of Sungyeol's face, trying to gain his attention. “What happened?”

“Car accident,” the contemplating ghost answered curtly.

“Why aren't you there then?”

“I don't want to scare him.”

Woohyun raised eyebrows, perplexed. “Scare him? How would you-”

“He can see me,” clarified Sungyeol. “I have no idea why is that and what should I do about it.”

They heard a sound of a key unlocking the door and soon Myungsoo walked into the living room, looking around. That made Sungyeol finally move, observing the situation.

“He almost died there,” he continued explaining while Woohyun stared at him, unable to speak. “His soul was already dropping down when the doctors brought him back. Do you think he'll now see ghosts because his soul was present in our sphere for that short moment?”

Despite knowing a lot of things and almost always having an answer ready, Woohyun had no idea either. He has never heard of a person seeing ghosts, at least not on their end. In the human world there were a lot of stories about such incidents but those were just tales, Woohyun believed.

Myungsoo's hand reached out for the laptop, diving into Sungyeol's body without knowing. Turning off the light, he was ready to leave.

“You stay here,” Woohyun decided.

Reluctantly, Sungyeol obeyed. Last thing he wanted to do was cause an uproar and worsen Sungjong's condition. Although he didn't like the idea of Woohyun doing that in his stead, if the boy is able to see all ghosts roaming around they can't keep him away from them and there was still the slight chance that it's only Sungyeol he's able to see.

With the laptop gone, he couldn't stare into the screen anymore. Yet he still saw the last words Sungjong typed before he was interrupted by the fated call. _I loved him. I should have realized it earlier and I should have told him more often. I wish I could see him again, at least once. Then I'd tell him._


	5. Chapter 5

For the very first time in his ghost life Sungyeol wasn't invisible to someone. Were he offered such an opportunity before, he would most certainly take advantage of it. Doing pranks and scaring people to death sounded fun. This time around the prankster was more serious than ever and cautious, extremely cautious.

Woohyun sailed through the front door, gesturing him to come in. “He's sleeping.”

Sungyeol nodded. He was evidently the only ghost Sungjong had the honour to see. Woohyun could still unnoticeably walk around and through the unaware boy and so could all the other ghosts. Sungjong got released from hospital a few days ago, unable to walk without crutches with the fractured leg but otherwise in a good condition.

Quietly squatting down before his bed, Sungyeol stared at the calm, fair-skinned face immersed in sleep. Even breathing became hard, as he was afraid it could wake the boy up. He waited there, possibly whole night and a bit of the early morning until an alarm clock announced it's time to wake up.

He spent quite a long time thinking this over, yet an elegant solution was nowhere to be found.

“Stay calm, okay?” Sungyeol started clumsily, standing far away from the bed as if that could lessen the fright.

However Sungjong reacted in a way the ghost was expecting the least. He didn't panic. He ignored Sungyeol completely. At first the sleepy eyes looked at him, a bit shocked but more frustrated and confused. Then they averted, closing and opening a few times.

Sungyeol didn't intend to give up. When silently following the boy around didn't do any better, he decided to talk. “I know this sounds a bit crazy, but I'm a ghost,” he'd say.

Putting crutches aside to sit down, Sungjong stared at him. He frowned, breathing shallowly. Sungjong's slender fingers ran through his own hair, ruffling it and making it even a bigger mess then it already was. He let out a sigh.

“Listen, I'm not just your imagination, hallucination or whatever you're thinking,” Sungyeol tried to persuade him from the opposite side of the dining table. “I'm real.”

“You can't be real. You-” the sentence got stuck in the boy's throat. “You died.”

“Yeah, I died and then became a ghost,” explained Sungyeol and tried to smile as cheerfully as possible when he noticed Sungjong's eyes getting wet.

Another couple of seconds when they just stared at each other, unsure of the other one's feelings. Sungjong felt crazy for talking with some kind of a vision but he also felt his chest becoming heavier, throat more narrow and eyes teary. Sungyeol wondered if he should leave before he makes the boy cry or continue his failed attempts at explaining.

“I can prove it to you,” a saving idea crossed his mind. “If I tell you something you can't possibly know and you check it's true, will you believe me?”

Sungjong looked perplexed. He wasn't quite sure if he shouldn't call a specialist right away, arranging a meeting as soon as possible. In the end he decided to agree with the ghost for the time being.

“Good. I'll be right back.”

Giving him an information he already possessed would be the easiest, but not certain. Most of the things he knew revolved around Sungjong and the people in his life, therefore he couldn't be sure if the boy knows them or not. The best option Sungyeol could think of was rushing into the streets around the apartment, carefully looking around and remembering the smallest details.

“There is a group of girls in school uniforms heading towards the bridge,” he notified Sungjong as soon as he got back to the seventh floor. “And a black car stopped across the street from here, young lady wearing beige skirt suit getting off. A person is washing the windows of a grocery there, another person is sweeping away fallen leaves.”

While Sungyeol continued the inexhaustible listing, Sungjong laboriously got up and made a few steps towards the window, opening up the blinds. He tried to remember if he already looked through the window today. Even if he did, it was definitely way earlier before he settled in the kitchen and the mentioned people would have been long gone, unless the whole neighbourhood was fooling with him.

Sungjong interrupted the reporting. “I'm sorry.”

Sungyeol stopped, him being the confused one now.

“If I ever got a chance to, I wanted to tell you I'm sorry,” repeated Sungjong with tears dropping down. Instead of using his hands to wipe them off, he stretched out his arms to pull Sungyeol closer.

They were almost touching him, so close. “Sungjong-ah, I'm a ghost. You can't touch-”

Sungyeol was dragged into a hug, feeling Sungjong's hands resting on his back, their chests pressing against each other tightly. It left him speechless. He raised his own hands to put them onto Sungjong's shoulders, stroking them and feeling the boy's skin underneath his fingers.

“What are you sorry for?” asked Sungyeol when they sat by the table again, still fascinated by the unexpected turn of things.

“What,” Sungjong looked at him, puzzled, “do you mean by that?”

There the ghost realized he forgot to mention how things work in the afterlife. Sungjong couldn't have any idea that ghosts don't carry the memories of the times they were living with them or basically anything else about the Underworld and its rules.

The sun shining through blinds and lighting up the kitchen with warm red and yellow hue was long gone; it was already noon. Despite listening to Sungyeol's narration carefully, Sungjong failed to fully grasp the situation. He wasn't even sure if he accepted the truth that a ghost of Lee Sungyeol is sitting in his kitchen, talking to him. If that alone was hard, hearing about a world as strange as the Underworld might have been pretty much incomprehensible.

“So,” Sungyeol breathed out, exhausted by talking. “What was I like as a living person? Who was Lee Sungyeol?”

Even with all he already knew there were a lot of blank spaces that needed to be filled, like an incomplete jigsaw. He could have told Sungjong things he found out, but he didn't. More than confirming he wanted to hear it all over again, directly from the person he loved and who used to love him back.

 

Lee Sungyeol was a model. Hadn't he died at such a young age the tall handsome boy might have become a top model of the world-renowned designers. He didn't follow his dream since a very young age like a lot of kids around him. Rather he discovered it quite by chance when he enrolled into Kyunghee University, majoring fashion design. With his designing abilities he wouldn't get far, but Sungyeol was lucky enough to be scouted by a modeling company.

By the end of his senior year he had pretty much everything. A certain carrier, friends at important places and a lover. The mentioned lover sometimes didn't fit into the category of things he possessed though. At times Sungyeol felt like he's all his and at times Sungjong was running away from him, to places he couldn't chase him to.

“What about Friday night?”

“I have a part-time job, remember?”

“Mhm,” Sungyeol grumbled. “Weekend?”

Averting eyes hypnotizing the screen of his cellphone, Sungjong looked at him and sighed. “I can't, too much work. Next time, okay?”

He's been hearing that sentence way too often for his taste. One would think it was Sungjong being in his senior year, not himself. Sungyeol was supposed to be busy with graduating, yet he was always around his boyfriend, whenever Sungjong needed him. Or more likely whenever he needed Sungjong.

 

“So we met at uni?” the ghost wanted to confirm.

Sungjong nodded, eyes fixed on the flower-patterned tablecloth most of the time. “You were a senior when I enrolled and we had a few mutual friends who took us drinking and introduced us.”

“What friends?”

“Well a few of mine and your classmates and Kim Myungsoo who-”

Frowning, Sungyeol cut in on the boy. “Myungsoo? He was there back then already?”

It would have been nice to hear there used to be only him and Sungjong, always. Somehow he wished to hear Sungjong met and started dating the photographer after his death. Somehow he hoped their love was the one that only death can part, no matter how silly that sounded.

“You know Myungsoo?” As soon as he asked, Sungjong inferred the truth and blushed, lowering his head. “Ah right, you probably saw a lot of things as a ghost...”

 _Right_. Sungyeol thought bitterly, but didn't say anything.

“Myungsoo and I were friends at high school. He helped me out a lot when I moved to Seoul.” He knew lying wouldn't help anything. Now he did. “And we're dating right now.”

“I know that and I understand that after my death-”

Looking almost as sad as back then when he cried curled up on the sofa, Sungjong pointed out: “We've dated before, Sungyeol.”

“Oh.” Sungyeol wasn't sure how to continue this conversation ruining his silly visions of an inseparable couple living happily ever after, well if it wasn't for his death.

 

He felt like tearing apart the plane tickets, in the tiniest pieces possible, and maybe throwing them out of the window or burning them down. Four years wasn't a short time. Even though time might pass by real fast sometimes, breaking up with someone you've loved for four years does leave scars. Sungyeol could have seen it coming for years, but he refused to believe it.

After a half an hour of intense staring at the date that was approaching fast, Sungyeol decided to spare at least one of the tickets. He had no use for the other one, there was no one in the world he wanted to be with as much as he wanted to be with Sungjong.

“You sure you're going alone _hyung_?” His younger brother called, full of worried questions.

“I need a break and it's better than locking myself up in here and cry, right?”

“I could go with you though,” Lee Daeyeol opposed.

Sungyeol glanced at the already torn ticket. “It's okay, you concentrate on your studies and take care of mom and dad, okay?”

Taking his brother with him would only mean a lot of questions to answer and a lot of comforting accepted. Sungyeol was sure that's the last thing he needed right now. Getting out of the city and forgetting about everything and everyone he knows might be of some help.

 

Sungyeol the ghost was holding Sungjong's hand, tasting how warmth feels for the very first time. They were now sitting on the cream-coloured sofa in the living room, side by side like during old times.

“We've planned the trip since our student days,” Sungjong said, smiling absently. “Both of us worked hard and we knew a break is something we're gonna need soon.”

Reminiscing brought a lot of uncomfortable feelings Sungjong has been trying to bury deep inside. With every step towards revealing the truth to the ghost with erased memory it was harder to continue but also impossible to stop or back off.

“Eventually we bought the plane tickets when they were cheap, quite a long time ahead. I was looking forward to it, I really was. I thought it might bring back old times, strengthen our relationship. But,” tears were already making his cheeks wet, “we had a fight. We've always quarreled over basically everything but this time it was serious.”

“So serious that we broke up,” Sungyeol finished for him, letting the other one to only nod.

 _Life's not a fairy tale_ , Sungyeol thought.

Sungjong's body was shaking with sobs, his hand's grip tightening. “And that's why I'm so sorry, that's why I can't ever forgive myself. I started dating Myungsoo because, as my best friend, he always comforted me and simply was there for me when we – when I broke up with you.”

In a way Sungyeol could understand that. Now he probably was just a reflection of what Lee Sungyeol used to be. He had no idea what mistakes he did, how much of a miserable boyfriend he might have been.

“You don't have to apologize, Sungjong-ah,” he embraced the crying boy, squeezing his shoulders. “We broke up, you moved on. And I probably healed my wounds relaxing in Hawaii, that's not so bad.”

“Sungyeol,” he bit his lips, “you died there.”

 

During the first days Sungjong didn't get it. The message felt almost as distant as TV news, as something that doesn't quite include him. It did start with watching news indeed. They said a tsunami hit southern parts of Hawaii, taking a high death toll on the inhabitants and holidaymakers. Then a call came, announcing the bad news.

It took a great deal of patience and love from Myungsoo to persuade Sungjong it wasn't his fault and that he didn't actually kill Sungyeol by letting him go there.

“I should've stopped him,” Sungjong would say. “Or go with him and die, then I wouldn't have to feel like shit.”

“Stop it. I'd miss you if you died,” Myungsoo would say simply, staring into the round eyes full of fear.

“There's a lot of people who miss Sungyeol too.”

 

The truth was, Sungjong was one of them. Their relationship fell apart because Sungyeol was sometimes too much. There was just too much of him and Sungjong needed to breathe, needed space when he felt like a bird trapped in a cage. But when he lost him, Sungjong realized how much he misses being that bird. Having all the freedom in the world or even being trapped by Myungsoo wasn't what he really wanted, only he didn't realize that before.

And he told Sungyeol. The never said words finally reached his ears, together with a soft-voiced “I loved you”.

Leaning closer and stopping just for a split second centimeters away from Sungyeol's lips, Sungjong kissed him. “And I still do.”

There was a lot said and still a lot to be put right. But they were exhausted. Sungjong felt tired physically and now also mentally from the overflow of feelings. Sungyeol was overwhelmed with all the facts about him and their relationship, slowly feeling more and more anxious. He wanted to just sit like this, wipe off Sungjong's tears and cuddle him until he's smiling again. But he couldn't.

“There's more I didn't tell you,” Sungyeol suddenly confessed, gritting his teeth as he tried to fight back. “Ghosts can fall down into the Underworld against their will sometimes and-”

Sungjong looked frightened seeing the ghost almost disappearing into the sofa, holding onto his hand desperately.

He knew he can't hold on too long. “Just- I love you too. I fell in love with you again and- I'll come back soon okay?”


	6. Chapter 6

Sungyeol's jar was empty. And so was Woohyun's, otherwise he could scrounge some of the happiness for himself. It was impossible to steal stored happiness but you could give your own to someone if you decided to. Woohyun probably wouldn't, but Sungyeol had his ways.

Depression didn't take him all the way down. Such a thing never happened to him before, maybe it was thanks to the joy that the new ability to talk to Sungjong and even touch him brought. He didn't land on the ground harshly, instead he floated above, looking surprised.

“Man you have some troublesome life behind,” commented Woohyun. He came down to check on him and Sungyeol briefly updated the story for him. “What are you going to do now though?”

“What do you mean what I'll do? Just what I did before,” answered Sungyeol naturally.

Shrugging his shoulders, Woohyun also responded casually: “Yeah, just stalk Sungjong like before. It doesn't really matter he can see you now, does it?”

Sungyeol frowned. There was no reason to change anything, this turn of events only made things better for him, for them.

“It won't do him any good if you stick around too long.”

He shooed Woohyun by waving his hand. “Mind your business. Why are you down here anyway?”

“Because my heart aches when I'm not with you~” Woohyun grinned widely, wrinkles forming around his lips. “And also because I've got a request.”

“If you could at least give me some happiness in exchange,” sighed Sungyeol.

Woohyun meant to remark that he'd give him all the happiness he needs, in a slightly different way. Instead he skipped that and explained: “Can you ask Sungjong about me? I mean, there's not a high chance that my living self was somehow connected to your gloomy love triangle but who knows, maybe he might know something.”

 

It was a bit of an unpleasant feeling. Sungjong kept glancing where the ghost named Nam Woohyun was supposed to be and back to Sungyeol who did the same between him and the other ghost.

“I don't know anyone by that name,” Sungjong replied slowly. “At least not anyone close to me, but I've met a lot of people and have a bad memory for names.”

“Can't he ask around a bit?” Woohyun suggested, inciting Sungyeol to mediate his request.

The boy gave it a thought before pulling out his cellphone from a pocket. “I can call Myungsoo- _hyung_ , he might know better.”

Now he couldn't really lean closer to listen to Myungsoo's replies and that made Sungyeol frustrated. Being visible definitely had its disadvantages too. Judging from Sungjong's expression, something useful was said. He raised his eyebrows, muttering “Ah yes, I remember”.

“It's kinda fun when he can't see me,” Woohyun remarked while they waited for the phone call to finish. “Because I can do whatever I want.”

Sungyeol didn't like the way he smirked, leaned closer to him while keeping that stupid smile and eyes fixed on his lips. “Stop,” he'd try to push him away.

Perplexed, Sungjong stared at the ghost tilting back as far as he could, hands raised against something invisible to his eyes. He decided to step in whatever was happening. “Nam Woohyun died in a car-crash two years ago.”

The mentioned one stopped striving for Sungyeol's lips.

“I remembered when he remained me. Woohyun was a manager and Myungsoo- _hyung_ met him in his photo studio. It was around the time he started out there I think and I didn't go there often back then, so I wouldn't know Woohyun personally.”

“Being a manager in my previous life probably explains why I stuck to SHINee and other idols,” Woohyun smiled faintly. “Was I their manager by any chance?”

Sungjong listened to Sungyeol repeating the question. “Oh, the singer's name is Kim Sungkyu.”

 

There was something right about Woohyun's comment. Sitting on his favourite sofa and watching Sungjong furiously type onto keyboard made him realize that. It was a fact that he's there with him but at the same time he isn't. He's there in the living room but certainly not in Sungjong's life, that's how it suddenly felt.

“Ah, I'm tired.” Sungjong suddenly stopped, turning around with the chair and extending arms to where Sungyeol was sitting.

The ghost snorted and responded playfully: “Do you expect me to carry you?”

It would be quite an amusing view for any living person who sees only Sungjong floating in the air through the living room and into the bedroom. Sungyeol kicked the door open without any result, realizing he's still a ghost that can't touch things afterwards. The carried boy helped him with that, smiling angelically.

He would like to pull the light pink blanket over Sungjong when he carefully laid him on the bed. Instead he let the boy turn off the light and muffle up himself, lying by his side being the only thing he was able to do. Sungyeol's arms wrapped around the thin waist, burying lips into Sungjong's hair. Although he didn't need to sleep, staying like this every night has become a habit.

At such times he had a lot of time to think, which could become useful as much as dangerous. Now, when Sungjong was still resting at home and only going out for necessities like shopping, it was easy to believe they're together, living a happy life of a couple. Conveniently, Myungsoo had to leave for Pusan as a part of some photoshooting session, which gave them precious time.

Sungjong never talked about it and Sungyeol didn't want to ask. Too afraid to hear basically any kind of answer, he kept the thinking to himself as well.

 

He'd like to believe that there was some fate present when he already met Kim Sungkyu as a ghost once. But he didn't stick to him as much as he did to SHINee nor did he feel anything special when looking at him. Now it was the same. Woohyun let out a sigh, disappointed by his own feelings.

“You're going out this late, honey?”

Kim Sungkyu was married. It didn't look like a flawlessly happy marriage to Woohyun but one thing was for sure; the tall long-haired lady loved her husband deeply.

“I forgot something in the practice room, I'll be right back.” Sungkyu soothed her and gave her cheek a fleeting kiss.

Maybe they weren't even that close as an idol and his manager, Woohyun thought. Despite that possibility Sungkyu was his only lead and since he had no one else to follow and find out more about his living self, he got on the car together with him, driving into the silent night streets.

To Woohyun's surprise the car stopped in front of a cemetery. He wouldn't be as shocked by the fact Sungkyu lied about where he's going as the actual place they ended up at. _My grave might as well be somewhere around here_ , flashed through Woohyun's mind. Only seconds after that he also realized it might be where Sungkyu's footsteps are heading to.

 _Nam Woohyun_ , the plate stated.

For once Woohyun laughed out, thinking that he's finally found the right place. The ghost comfortably sat down in front of the plate, right next to the fresh flowers. He watched Sungkyu stop in front of him, hands buried deep in pockets and his expression giving out he's contemplating about something.

“Hey Woohyun,” Sungkyu started out awkwardly, breaking the scary silence of the dark cemetery.

“Hey.”

It took a couple of seconds before Sungkyu gathered courage to continue. “It's been two years, hasn't it? I didn't come last year, but I'm here now and...”

“Is it my death anniversary today?” Woohyun asked in between the gap.

“...and I just wanted to tell you something. I didn't get married because I wanted to, you know my family. So yeah, that's it. If you're watching me from somewhere you probably know, but I still wanted to...” Sungkyu nodded affirmatively, staring at the grave through the ghost sitting there.

Seeing him turn around, confused Woohyun shouted at him: “Wait, how am I supposed to understand that shit? Speak more clearly, you-”

Few steps away from him Sungkyu halted and looked his way again, making Woohyun freeze on the spot. “I love you,” he confessed in a whisper, almost hastily. His pace sped up after that, almost close to running.

It felt as if he was shy, but more than that Sungkyu probably felt awkward talking to a grave, not to mention Woohyun noticed he's not exactly a romantic guy. The ghost didn't follow him, he stayed in the same position in the middle of the gloomy cemetery, smiling.

In the end he decided to slowly walk to Sungjong's apartment where Sungyeol would most possibly be at. On the way he tried to sort out his feelings which turned out to be a very tedious task. There was happiness, no doubt about that. It might have been that kind of happiness that fills the empty jar but not the empty Woohyun. He still felt sort of indifferent towards anything he used to be before he died as well as sceptic towards his dead self obsessing over the living.

In the less frequented streets he only met ghosts roaming around at this hour. Usually he didn't pay attention to them but this particular one caught his eye. Woohyun didn't know much about the appearance of the guardians as he never really cared. Rather than a different look, this one ghost was giving out an aura that could be sensed all across the street and even further ahead when they passed by each other.

One, two, three. Woohyun counted three of them, the last one just across the corner to Sungjong's place. Considering he's never seen one before, this was highly suspicious.

“You should be careful,” he'd greet Sungyeol, sitting down on the bed.

“Why?” the ghost lying next to Sungjong the sleeping beauty asked automatically. He'd pause in surprise soon after he realized he's not an invisible ghost that can't be heard by anyone.

Sungyeol forced Woohyun to move out of the bedroom while checking if the boy didn't wake up.

“I saw three guardians around here,” informed Woohyun. “I think they might be after you.”

Raising his eyebrows high, Sungyeol opposed: “I'm not doing anything wrong.”

“How about talking to a living person when you're not supposed to as a ghost?”

Sungyeol's eyebrows dropped down again to form a frown. “I didn't do it on purpose, it just happened.”

“I know. But guardians are there to protect the rules and this is certainly breaking them. Anyway,” Woohyun decided to change the topic, “I've found out more about myself.”

 

Sungkyu didn't look impressed. Woohyun didn't get discouraged by that. Digging into his bag he pulled out another folder and after a moments of leafing through the papers he showed him less pink, yet still overly cutely decorated one.

“Say, did our company ran out of money?”

“No, why?” Woohyun wondered.

Sungkyu took the paper out of his hands, inspecting it. “Because it looks as if you did the cover designs yourself.”

Something between a laugh and snort came out in response. “If that was so there would be no mysterious girl in the photos. There would be me.”

Woohyun got smacked by the paper, which didn't quite had its effect since he almost didn't feel it. “Show some respect to your manager!”

“If you weren't such a useless one,” Sungkyu grumbled. “Besides you're not even older than me, what respect.”

Woohyun grinned mischievously. “I might not be the older one but I'm the topping one-”

“Aish!” Sungkyu shrieked out, quickly grabbing Woohyun by the collar and covering his mouth. “There are people around for god's sake.”

Woohyun's bubbly laughter under his hand made Sungkyu smile, while looking around if anyone's paying attention to them. Unless they would directly hear those words, there was no way someone finds out about their relationship, yet they couldn't be completely careless.

“Let's pick the second one then,” Sungkyu opted for the less horrible cover just to keep Woohyun from having more sensitive comments.

The shooting was wrapped up for the day and the two of them drive through almost empty streets.

“You're going too fast,” Sungkyu would point out but Woohyun just retorts something, making him shrug his shoulders indifferently.

The moment they hit something, Sungkyu loses his consciousness. When he wakes up later, part of his life is shattered to pieces. He survived, with injuries that will take time to heal completely. But Woohyun didn't and that wound won't heal so easily.


	7. Chapter 7

Sungjong tossed himself on the bed, arms spread wide. Physical therapy for his fractured leg always exhausted him. Through weeks he started getting better and wanting to quickly start walking without crutches again, Sungjong tried his best.

Rolling over he stretched out for a cellphone and looked at the missed calls. They were missed on purpose and he was not quite sure what to do about them. Their number increased since morning and a few text messages accompanied them. Last time he talked to Myungsoo was on Monday.

“ _Hyung_ ,” Sungjong would start unsteadily, glancing at Myungsoo being absorbed in the photos he recently took with his camera. “I think I need a break.”

Myungsoo slowly looked at him.

When he didn't say anything, Sungjong cautiously continued: “I mean we're both busy with work, I have to do well on the physical therapy and overall get well properly. So... I thought we could meet a little less often.”

Myungsoo dedicated him a long, reflective look. “You're not being yourself lately.”

Sungjong gasped but quickly regained his balance. “It's the stress and everything.”

“I don't want to hinder you but,” his eyes were piercing through him all this time, “I won't ever give up on you.”

Not knowing what to say to that, Sungjong faintly smiled.

“I love you.” Myungsoo kissed him, demanding him to open up his mouth but Sungjong backed off.

“I know. Just give me some time, okay?”

It was Friday now. Myungsoo texted him every day as if nothing happened, telling him all sort of stupidities happening in his life. Sungjong answered, but never started the conversation nor said anything about the things he's been doing through the week. After all something like “hi Myungsoo, me and Sungyeol's ghost watched a really good movie today” wouldn't really help their relationship.

Sungjong put the cellphone back on the bedside table, ignoring all the attention from his boyfriend. Having no idea what is he actually doing right now, he wished he could stop the time for a while. Maybe for a time long enough to spend one lifetime with the ghost and then come back to the reality. Like a dream, a very long and beautiful dream.

“How was therapy?” Sungyeol appeared out of nowhere, but that couldn't startle Sungjong anymore.

He sat up, letting the ghost hug him from behind. “You know, I'd love to spend a lifetime with you.”

“Well you can, I'm not going anywhere,” Sungyeol smiled, resting his head on the boy's shoulder. He thought about his jar that was now overflowing with happiness, hoping it can prolong his ghost life sufficiently.

“It's not that easy.”

Nothing ever was. Sungyeol felt his own heart getting squeezed and he quickly shook his head to chase off the negative feelings.

“It's not like I can come out and tell all my friends that I'm now dating you. They'd think I've gone mad. You're a ghost, Sungyeol.”

Familiar feeling of heaviness, body sinking down. Before Sungyeol could disappear, Sungjong grabbed him firmly, sharing a kiss with him. It wasn't the first time this happened and he learnt how to bring him back well.

“You're right,” Sungyeol admitted when he felt stability again. “So I guess we'll have to wait till your hair turns gray, you grow old and all wrinkly and become a ghost too.”

 

Standing at the corner, Woohyun watched the guardians swarming around the street. He wouldn't dare asking these as that could get him into the trouble his friend is probably causing but since the guardians in the Underworld had nothing to do with those here, Woohyun gathered some information from them.

There were two types of guardians, those in the Underworld and those in the world of the living. And according to that, they only worked in one of those spheres, the other one being forever forbidden to them. Like a company or more like a government, each of the guardians had a different position and different tasks to handle. The one Woohyun questioned seemed to not have very important duties, yet he didn't complain. Being a guardian meant never dying and never being born into the world of the living again. To someone it might sound harsh, to this guardian it meant immortality which he desired.

Woohyun wouldn't want such immortality. In fact he enjoyed his ghost life less and less. The more he knew about his living self, the more Sungyeol grew apart from him and got attached to Sungjong, he found himself disappointed by everything and everyone.

“Not yet,” he heard one of the guardians say. “If we wait a bit more it will definitely get more serious, which means more profit.”

“What if someone else overtakes us?” a taller guardian opposed.

“This is our region, if they intrude we'll send them back kindly.”

Woohyun didn't like the way he smirked nor the way the other guardian laughed out, his voice similar to barking. He wondered what did the _more serious_ mean. When they broke the rules down in the Underworld thanks to their desire to know their names, the sentence was harsh but not the highest possible. Their judge reminded them they should be glad they weren't _sent right away_.

And then it dawned on him. Back then the happiness taken from them most certainly went to the ghost who betrayed them. But not all of it. The guardians profited from every rule-breaker, probably gaining something else than happiness since that didn't have any value to them. Woohyun didn't know what that something is, he however did know what these guardians are plotting.

 

A mix of feelings was keeping him there but also dragging him away. Just then Sungkyu stopped staring into a white music sheet and picked a photo album from the shelves above a neatly organized desk. It wasn't fully filled, some of the photos were obviously taken out, some probably put into wrong places. Unlike the arranged desk it looked messy and unfinished. Sungkyu however knew where to find what he needed since he opened it in the middle and skipped two pages to stop there.

They stared at the memories together, Sungkyu reliving them and Woohyun learning about them for the very first time. There weren't just the two of them, most of the photos were group ones where a lot of people gathered in front of the camera and smiled into it. After a while Sungkyu grabbed one of those and took out a photo cleverly hidden behind it.

The photo didn't last long when taken out of its hideout. All of a sudden Sungkyu took out a lighter. Soon Woohyun's head resting on Sungkyu's shoulder and his bright smile, together with Sungkyu's arm around his waist got burnt down. The remains of the photo stayed at the bottom of the kitchen's sink as the fire went out.

Sungkyu stood there, hands rested on the edges of the sink, head down. Something was ending here, Woohyun could feel it too. Although he knew almost nothing about their relationship or what they've been through together, he felt the sadness burdening his shoulders.

In the end he left before the gravity would get him. He still needed to do one thing before going down. Woohyun knew he's running out of time.

 

“Woohyun has this little request,” Sungyeol began, staring into the transparent paper in his hands. “He has something he wants to hand over to Kim Sungkyu, a message he wrote.”

Sungjong stopped polishing the outfit on a mannequin and looked at him. “I can probably pass it to Myungsoo,” he said hesitantly.

“Good,” he decided to ignore the reluctance in Sungjong's voice. “It's on a paper from the Underworld so I can't just give it to you but I can tell you the contents, so write it down.”

When Sungjong got all ready, he took a breath and started reading. He's read it before, many times. It felt like a letter he might have to write to Sungjong one day and that made his throat narrow every time he looked at it.

“Dear Sungkyu, I don't think you're going to believe a single word from this letter but I had to try anyway. I saw you going up to my grave on the day of my anniversary. I've heard what you said and I want to say the same to you, but I can't. I know you need to move on and so do I. I've seen you burn down our photo and I understood. I want you to be happy. Please be happy and know that I'm something like your guardian angel, watching you from here. Nam Woohyun.”

Sungjong's hand ceased writing from time to time, glancing at Sungyeol reading those words. Sungyeol's voice trembled at some parts, desperately trying not to. If it wasn't Woohyun who personally gave him the paper, he'd never believe it's him writing this. The carefree, joking Woohyun he knew wasn't anywhere to be found in this letter.

Finished, they both just sat there, speechless.

“Did they... love each other?” Sungjong broke the silence.

Sungyeol nodded stiffly. “Looks like it. Woohyun doesn't know much himself.”

“Kim Sungkyu has a wife though. I wonder what happened there.”

It looked like another heartbreaking story and Sungyeol was kind of glad he and probably not even Woohyun will ever know it all. He sneaked behind Sungjong, hugging him from the back. His hair was so soft yet strong. Sungyeol ruffled it, rearranging his bangs.

Sungjong turned around for a kiss, bringing Sungyeol down to sit on his lap. The ghost didn't weigh anything, which was kind of a weird feeling. There were a lot of things feeling off, yet he couldn't stop. He deepened the kiss, their tongues clashing together and his hands moving up and down Sungyeol's neck and shoulders.

Under the paper-thin clothes which only Sungyeol could take off himself, the skin didn't feel warm. His hands trailing down Sungjong's spine weren't warm either, yet they made the boy's heart burn down, mouth emit soft moans. The body Sungjong used to know was just the same, with all its soft spots, the temperature being the only difference. Just like that, Sungyeol responded with a groan when he sucked on his skin, near the mole on his neck.

Sungyeol didn't try to lead. It was a first time for the ghost who remembered nothing. But his hands sliding down the flat belly and encircling Sungjong's erect member somehow knew what they're doing. He sighed into the boy's ear when Sungjong made another hickey above his collarbones.

Vaguely Sungyeol realized the clothes he tossed away aren't there anymore, but he wasn't given more time to think about that. Sungjong pushed him into a lying position, which gave him some trouble to concentrate on where's the bed and not to fall through. Soon enough their bodies connected when Sungjong pushed inside of him, making that a bit easier.

“It kinda hurts,” Sungyeol complained in between the yet slow thrusts.

Sungjong smirked at him, losing the remaining bits of his cuteness if there was any still left. He stroked Sungyeol's cock, earning a cracked moan silenced by his own lips. The body underneath him loosened up slightly, letting him further in. He picked up the pace, feeling Sungyeol's nails bury deep into his back.

“Fuck yes,” the ghost changed his mind.

Sungyeol felt cramps in his legs as he clenched them seconds before he came. He'd feel Sungjong pull out of him, panting heavily as he collapsed on the bed. Sungyeol had nothing to collapse on, so he turned over to him, hand resting on the boy's heaving chest.

The moment felt so slow compared to what just happened. They listened to each other's breath, taking in the smell of their bodies, the sweat and Sungjong's fine perfume below that. Sungyeol looked at him, smiling.

Before he could say anything however, cold sweat spilled all over his body, making him paralyzed. The feeling came first, only after that he'd see a group of ghosts rising through the floor, startling him. His body shot up automatically. Sungjong stared at him in confusion, but still laid there peacefully, not being able to feel and see what the ghost could.

“We are the balance guardians,” said the most scary looking one of them. Scars cruised his face and parts that weren't hidden under clothes. “And you are hereby arrested for breaking the balance between the Underworld and the world of the living.”

“Wait I didn't-”

“Sungyeol, what's going on?”

“You will be taken into custody where a trial shall be held. As of now you have no rights as a ghost until the verdict is decided.”

“But I-” Words betrayed him, he didn't know what was he going to say anymore. Deep inside, Sungyeol knew he has no right to resist. Yet he refused to give up. He pushed away the hand that violently grabbed him.

A second guardian stepped in. “Pin him down,” he ordered, painfully crooking Sungyeol's hands behind his back. Something held them together now, something itchy and burning.

“Sungyeol!” Fright in his eyes, Sungjong's hands reached for him, trying to grab him by his shoulders. Instead they went through the ghost, straight down onto the bed.

“Let's go,” the chief guardian commanded.

“Sungjong-ah, I love you,” he shouted hurriedly, tears forming in his eyes and stinging almost as much as the substance binding together his hands. He wanted to say those words softly, in the peaceful moment where they were lying next to each other, feeling their bodies pressed against each other. He wanted to say and do so many things, but the time was up.

“You'll come back soon, right?”

He couldn't force himself to nod. Sungyeol only smiled through tears, watching Sungjong's widened eyes disappear above as he started falling down.

 

The whole Underworld became his prison. There was no need to keep him locked until the trial. Once they dragged him down they made sure he'll never come back. Sungyeol's jar was taken away, most likely already emptied for other ghosts' needs by now. All of the happiness was there, none left inside of himself.

Waiting for his fate to be decided with resignation, Sungyeol doesn't even notice Woohyun sitting down beside him, squeezing his shoulders.

“Do you sometimes think we maybe shouldn't have found out our names?” he asks, playing with Sungyeol's hand. “That then none of these things would have happened and we'd be happy ghosts exploring the unknown world?”

No, Sungyeol thoughts immediately but doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to though, they were in the Underworld where thinking of something was almost the same as saying it and he kind of forgets that.

“Thought so,” Woohyun confirms. “I kind of want to turn back time but since we can't, let's go forward.”

He smiles at Sungyeol who almost doesn't perceive that, lost in his depression. He does feel Woohyun's lips on his though, kissing him tenderly yet shortly.

Sungyeol didn't understand anything anymore. According to his trial he was supposed to be sent right away as they called it, executed. It was a worse verdict than he'd expect but it didn't surprise him as much as he thought. Even if he were to survive, he could probably never go up into the world of the living, let alone meet Sungjong. So maybe dying would be better.

“Your sentence has been canceled,” they just told him, without any further explanation. “You will become a guardian as of tomorrow. That's also when you'll learn more about your position.”

Sungyeol stared back at the guardian telling him this, completely perplexed.

“Well, you're free to go.”

Feeling confused and deceived, Sungyeol wandered around, not really knowing what is he supposed to do. The only person that could help was Woohyun and he tried to search for him, but he seemed to go up to the world of the living or was hiding on purpose.

He ended up at the place their jars used to be, his taken away before but for some reason Woohyun's wasn't where it was supposed to be either. Instead, he found a letter. At first Sungyeol thought it might be the original of the one written for Sungkyu. But it was addressed to him.

_Sungyeol-ah,_

_did you know that when ghosts die they don't disappear completely but instead reincarnate as human beings again? It might take a while though, there's not the same amount of souls and I guess you are first taken into some kind of waiting room, haha._

_Also did you know how guardians are chosen? Well there are more ways to become a guardian but one of them is through sacrifice. Someone dies for your sake and you become a guardian. If you're reading this I guess you already are one. Which also means I'm gone, not dead, just somewhere else, probably somewhere better._

_But don't think I did it just for you, okay? You also thought dying would be better than living without Sungjong, right? For me, it was the same. I don't want to live as a shadow of my living self anymore._

_Being a guardian means you won't die. Never. Like that you can wait for Sungjong to grow old, die and finally meet you. Like that you can have your lifetime with him._

_I loved you, just like you loved Sungjong and like Sungkyu probably loved me. It's all too complicated, isn't it?_

_See you in next life,_

_Woohyun_

 

…

 

Sungyeol the reincarnation guardian tickes off another person on the list, sighing. Leading people into their new lives was tiring and he hasn't quite gotten used to the amount of energy he has to use for it. He'd almost think it's him _creating_ the new souls from scratch.

“Only more to go today,” he'd motivate himself, staring back into the list.

Then he pauses, reading the name and the remaining information silently, with lips parted. _Previously named Nam Woohyun, died on_...

“So it's finally you,” Sungyeol smiles into the file, putting it aside to dive into the bucket. He grabs one of the souls, helping it shape itself and gently guide it into a newly born child. Once again he watches the new life being created, the child screaming loudly and mother panting in exhaustion.

Sungyeol continues smiling at the newly born Woohyun, waving him goodbye as he walks away. He sees a person barging into the room, hair and clothes a mess. He's taken aback, but then he laughs out. And he's still laughing when he gets off work, slowly walking through the streets. So Nam Woohyun was born again and out of all the possible families he could've been born to, he chooses that of Kim Sungkyu.

 

…

 

“So you finally came.”

“Are you a guardian?”

“More importantly I am someone who knows you,” he smiles at Sungjong, yearning to grab his hand, pull him into a hug and kiss him furiously. But he holds back.

“I don't remember meeting you. We don't know each other,” Sungjong the ghost replies in surprise.

“Then we'll have to fix that, won't we?”


End file.
